Restlessness

I have had a couple of nice quiet days at home, by choice but also enforced because Miss Cheeky has had a head cold.  It's a change from the end of last year, where I was out almost everyday.

It has been nice, Miss Cheeky is all but we'll again, I've gotten a lot of housework done, though I wish I had more motivation when it came to doing the ironing. But there is a few big BUT's that go along with the peace and solitude of staying home.

*I feel duty bound when I am home to do as much housework as I can, but then I feel guilty for doing the housework instead of playing with Miss Cheeky so I give up on the housework and play, then I feel guilty because she has worn me out and I can't be bothered with the rest of the housework.  I believe it's called Mother Guilt, if anyone has found the cure please share it!

*I worry about Miss Cheeky's socialisation.  I don't really need to, she plays very well with her friends and the other kids at Church and is always making new friends with kids at the shops or anywhere else we go for that matter.  More Mother Guilt.....

But the biggest BUT I have noticed is that being at home with all the housework and tradesmen coming to give quotes and food preparation etc is that I have time to think.  Don't get me wrong. I don't necessarily think that thinking is a bad thing, but I have always found that when its too hot and humid to do much (and our house retains the heat, in fact since the cool change over the weekend the house has often been hotter than outside) I begin to get restless.  I lose my motivation, I can't focus on anything that has to be done, though I can focus on wasting time on the computer and I start to notice every little thing that I don't like or need to change or fix about the house, the garden, what I feed my family and there begins the spiral of fault finding, worry and anxiety.

I have decided that the spiral isn't going to take me down with it today.  I am going to keep going and even though if I look at the list of jobs to be done around the house, the list of projects to be started and the list of activities that I want to do with Miss Cheeky I am very quickly overwhelmed, today, I am not going to let restlessness, worry and anxiety win.